Face Down
by RLD Flame-point Callie-co
Summary: Uther is strict, and Morgana is rebellious. As her relationship with her guardian deteriorates she turns to Merlin, but how long will he be enough to stop her from doing something bad? Oneshot, songfic, mild M/M, character death.


**Disclaimer: Merlin is property of the BBC, and the lyrics belong to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I claim no rights to either. **

**Pairing: Merlin/Morgana, but non-explicit enough that it can be read as just friendship if you prefer.**

**Warnings: slight physical/emotional abuse, character death**

**Notes: This is my first attempt at a oneshot, a songfic, and at writing for the Merlin fandom, ****and**** the way this story came to me was random even by my standards, so I'm not entirely sure about it. I spent a few days working on it though, so here it is. Constructive criticism would be much appreciated.**

Ask the average citizen of Camelot, and they'd say the king and his ward got along perfectly. Merlin used to think so too, until he got better acquainted with the Lady Morgana. Now he knew that Morgana disagreed with Uther's zero-tolerance policy of executing everybody even remotely connected with magic or those who used it. He also knew that the king did not take kindly to anyone challenging his views - especially not the people closest to him, the ones he felt owed him their allegiance the most.

His ward unquestionably fell into this category, even more so than all the other members of his household. He had no obligation to her other than a promise he'd made years ago to her father. Of course that promise carried great weight with a man of honor such as him, but his promise failed to cover what _sort_ of care he would take of Morgana. He could have forcibly betrothed her to Arthur once she was old enough, or a knight or noble of his choosing, or even taken her for himself despite the age difference between them - he was king of the realm, and she was a woman with no family to stand up for her. Instead he let her live her life more or less any way she wanted, purely out of fatherly affection.

But Merlin knew that Uther's affection was a transient thing; he'd seen him sentence Gaius to death on suspicion of sorcery, completely disregarding the old physician's decades of service to Camelot. So Merlin feared what would happen to Morgana if she ever became more outspoken in her sympathy for magic practitioners or - heaven forbid! - took a public stand against the king. He wondered if she truly appreciated how dangerous the views she occasionally expressed were.

_**Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy  
One look puts the rhythm in my head  
Still I'll never understand why you hang around  
I see what's going down **_

His fears turned into a reality the night she was caught trying to smuggle the druid boy Mordred out of the city. Uther furiously upbraided Morgana, but instead of realizing what thin ice she was treading she continued arguing with him, willful as ever. "Why are you so full of hate?" she demanded, striding forward and grabbing his arm when he turned away from her.

Faster than she could process what was happening, she found herself shoved backward until she crashed against a chair with Uther's hand wrapped around her throat. "Enough! I will not brook this insolence from any of my subjects, and certainly not from you! Do you understand?"

Morgana couldn't speak past the iron grip choking off her air, so she settled for frantic nodding; right then she would have agreed to anything, done anything, to make Uther release her and let her breathe. Nevertheless, he backed off and simply ordered her to her chambers. "Yes, my lord." She left the throne room at the fastest walk possible - she refused to be seen running away. Yet she couldn't bring herself to meet Arthur's eyes as she passed him.

###

Alone in her chambers, she assessed the damage. Her throat bore an angry red mark in the distinctive shape of a handprint. No one could be allowed to see her like this. Morgana had never powdered her face - with her naturally pale complexion she'd never needed to - but a little of the cosmetic should cover the bruise until it faded. She would send Gwen to buy some tomorrow.

Now that she'd made a plan of action, she let herself sink down on her bed and try to process what had just transpired. Uther Pendragon, her guardian since she was ten years old, the man who'd told her several times that she was the daughter he'd never been blessed with, had just throttled her. She was unable to reconcile her concept of her stern but basically kind guardian with the cold face she'd stared into as its owner pinned her against a chair, strangling her until she gave in to him. They simply could _not_ be the same man. Uther cared for her, he just...just wasn't himself. His anti-magic paranoia turned him into someone else. A stranger. That man in the throne room just now hadn't been Uther.

_**Cover up with makeup in the mirror  
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again  
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you**_

Merlin didn't see Morgana for a whole day after her run-in with the non-Uther. Next time he did, she was dressed differently; her necklaces were usually long, light ropes of gold links and gemstones that fell down the front of her dress, but today she wore something more like a collar, a silver cuff around her neck. Though finely tooled and engraved, it was rather ugly and hardly suited her. Why she would choose to put on such a thing was beyond him.

Feeling his curious gaze on her, she flushed and pulled her hair over her shoulders in an attempt to make the collar less conspicuous. "It's nothing - just something I bought at the market yesterday."

"But I was at the market yesterday," Merlin said, frowning. "Gaius had me there buying herbs we can't pick here for hours, and I never saw you."

Morgana's face reddened further. "Are you calling me a liar, Merlin?" She lifted her chin as she glared at him, inadvertently exposing a bit of skin above the top of her collar.

"What's that, my lady?" Merlin reached out - noticing her slight flinch as his hand neared her throat - and swiped a finger under her chin. His fingertip came away caked with white powder. "What-?" A closer look showed him that beneath the makeup, Morgana's normally flawless skin was a mottled yellowish-purple. "Morgana, how did that get there?" She turned and hurried back the way she had come. "Morgana!"

Her only response was to walk faster.

Merlin was utterly confounded - and concerned. Someone had obviously done that to Morgana, but who? No man was allowed to lay a hand on the king's ward without her permission. If anyone had dared to, surely she would have gone to Uther and had him beheaded. The Lady Morgana was hardly one to let herself be mistreated, and the king was hardly one to let such a thing go unpunished.

###

It finally clicked when he happened to see Morgana and Uther passing each other in the corridors. As soon as she caught sight of him, she lowered her eyes and sped up; once she was past him, her hand flickered involuntarily toward where her bruise was fading before she made a conscious effort to bring it back to her side, fingers clenching on her skirts and wadding them up. He opened his mouth as if to call out to her, then changed his mind and simply watched her go with an almost regretful expression.

Merlin observed all this in silence, unnoticed by either of the two royals as servants so often were, horror mounting inside his chest as he did so. This was why nobody had been executed for assaulting the king's ward - because the king himself was the perpetrator. No one in Camelot had the authority to punish _him_.

_I should've figured it out sooner, _Merlin thought. Hadn't he heard from Arthur how enraged Uther had been upon learning that Morgana had hidden Mordred under his very nose? Arthur'd said nothing about him physically harming her, though. _Well, why would he tell his servant? He doesn't think I can do anything about it. _

And it was so tempting to do something about it. Just thinking about Uther touching Morgana that way brought the magic to Merlin's fingertips, creating a nearly unbearable itch as it struggled to escape. Simply walking away was all but impossible, but somehow the warlock managed it. There was one other thing he could do - something much more prudent than smiting the king right there in broad daylight.

_**Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found**_

That night Merlin waited till he saw Gwen leave Morgana's room, then slipped inside when he was certain the corridor was deserted. Morgana, who was already in bed, sat up with a startled exclamation and clutched the bedcovers to her chest. "Merlin! Have you any idea what the consequences would be if you were caught here at this hour?"

"Greater than the consequences Uther faced for something far worse," he replied as calmly as he was able, since he was talking about someone hurting his friend. "I know what he did to you."

She was unprepared for the overwhelming rush of relief she felt at hearing those seven little words. Just to have someone to talk to, someone who cared and wouldn't think less of her for admitting how badly Uther's attack had shaken her, was more than she'd hoped for. "It was so awful, Merlin. Uther has been the closest thing I've had to a father since my own father died, but that day... The man he became that day was a stranger to me. His hatred of magic drives him beyond all reason." A single tear escaped and slid down her cheek. When Merlin reached to brush it away she let him, pressing her face against his palm.

Remembering what Gaius had told him about Morgana being a seer, knowing what would be done to her if she was ever found out, Merlin knew he had to do something. Until recently he'd thought of her as unflappable, untouchable; even though logically he knew she was just a person, she'd always been excellent at projecting that haughty, above-mere-mortals royal image. Seeing her so vulnerable now drove home to him as nothing else had that she really was just another girl - a girl who would find her head on the chopping block like any other sorceress if she was ever exposed, and she didn't have the relative anonymity of a servant that afforded Merlin some protection. A _lot_ of people paid attention to Morgana's comings and goings.

"You shouldn't have to live with him, not if you're this unhappy."

She laughed humorlessly. "Believe me Merlin, if I could change Uther or my situation I would. There's nothing I can do."

"You can leave."

_**A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect  
Every action in this world will bear a consequence  
If you wait around forever you will surely drown  
I see what's going down**_

She looked at him like he'd taken utter leave of his senses. "Leave Camelot? Where would I go, Merlin? Everyone I care about is here - my life is here."

_Your life will _end_ here if Uther ever finds out what you are. _But he couldn't tell her that; she had enough on her mind without him confirming her vague suspicions that her nightmares were more than just bad dreams. He held his tongue.

"I thank you for your concern, I really do." She was slipping back into her aloof noble persona. "But I'll be fine."

"Good night, my lady."

"Merlin?" she called when he was halfway to her door. He slowly turned back. "I know between Arthur and Gaius you have plenty of work but...should you ever find a spare moment... Perhaps you could come see me?" She looked very small huddled up in her enormous bed amid her huge pillows.

"Of course I will."

_**I see the way you go and say you're alright again  
Say you're alright again  
Heed my lecture**_

A few weeks passed without incident. Neither Uther nor Morgana did anything to provoke the other, he seemed to have forgiven her for their quarrel over Mordred, and she was as fine as she'd assured Merlin she would be. He knew because he visited her whenever he could find the time (sometimes making the time when he couldn't) and kept an eye on her every day. Luckily her dreams appeared to have died down; Merlin began to hope that things might stay okay forever.

Then Gwen's father was charged with treason for allegedly collaborating with a renegade sorcerer to overthrow the king, and Morgana and Uther were at each other's throats once more - though not literally this time, praise the gods.

_**One day she will tell you that she has had enough  
It's coming round again**_

The morning after Tom was killed while trying to escape, Merlin saw Morgana storming through the palace toward Uther's throne room. _Oh no. _He didn't need to be a seer to know she was about to do something rash, something that would get her in trouble again. He dropped his pile of dirty laundry and followed her; Arthur's socks would just have to wait.

Unfortunately she reached her destination before he could catch her, so he was forced to hover outside, watching and listening and hoping for the best. Naturally the worst happened instead. Morgana ranted about how much in the wrong Uther was, going so far as to accuse him of persecuting and making enemies of the very people he was meant to serve and protect.

"You talk treason, Morgana," Uther snapped, his patience waning.

"Only a madman sees the truth as treason," Morgana spat.

Merlin groaned softly and dropped his head into his hands.

"Take care child, or I'll have you restrained."

"You just try."

He tried. At a snap of his fingers, his guards entered, seized Morgana by her upper arms and manhandled her out of the throne room. She caught a glimpse of Merlin skulking outside the heavy oak doors, watching her being led away. Even though she'd only seen him for a second, maybe less, the concern in his deep blue eyes gave her something to hold on to as she was dragged down to the dungeons and shoved inside a cell with enough force to send her sprawling face-first into the dirty straw covering the floor. The guards came in after her and one lifted her arms, pinning them over her back while the other fastened manacles around her wrists.

They left her lying there, alone in her dank, dark cell.

_**Face down in the dirt she said "this doesn't hurt"  
She said "I've finally had enough" **_

Merlin wanted desperately to see Morgana, to know she was all right - _Idiot, of course she's not all right, she's been arrested! But they were only restraining her; surely they wouldn't hurt her..._ - but he had work to do. Arthur would definitely notice if his manservant spent the rest of the day running around the castle in search of Morgana. Well, actually he might not, but he _would_ notice an absence of clean socks in his dresser come morning.

It was late at night before he made it to Morgana's chambers - only to find them empty. If Uther hadn't confined her to her room, there was only one other place she was likely to be... Had she really been thrown in the dungeons like a common criminal? He descended the winding staircase much faster than he ever had when visiting the dragon, sneaked past the guards, and checked. She was nowhere in the main jail, but after minutes of fruitless searching he finally found her in a solitary confinement cell and magicked the door open. "Morgana!"

She had been curled against the wall with her head on her knees; now she sat up straight, blinking. "Merlin? You shouldn't be here."

Neither should she, but he refrained from pointing that out, instead simply asking how she was.

"I am...not well." Her voice trembled.

"Have you been hurt?" He reached for her hands, examining her wrists for chafing from the chains, but she pulled away.

"It isn't that - I'm more upset than anything else." He remained silent, an unspoken invitation for her to continue, which she did after a moment. If she were to vent, it might as well be to a servant whose word wouldn't mean as much as a noble's should he ever repeat what she was about to say. _Which he won't, because he truly does care for you - more than your so-called 'guardian'. _She ignored the little voice in the back of her mind. It did no good to be cared for by someone who was in no position to do anything about her situation except make her feel a little better when he visited her. "I once thought Uther a mostly reasonable man. I thought he at least cared for me. Today I learned I was sorely mistaken, and that I've spent the greater part of my life under the care of a power-mad tyrant. His care - ha! He cares for no one but himself." She took a deep breath and said something even more reckless. "I cannot live with him any longer, Merlin, I really can't."

He inhaled sharply, shocked - he'd known instinctively for a while that Camelot wasn't the best place for Morgana, but he'd never expected to hear her agree with him. "You mean you want to leave?"

Morgana jumped to her feet, making her chains rattle. "I am not about to be driven from my home by that...that...despot! Now more than ever, I want Uther dead."

_**Face down in the dirt she said "this doesn't hurt"  
She said "I've finally had enough"**_

"I know Uther's not exactly young anymore, but I don't think he's going to die anytime soon either," Merlin pointed out.

"Death can be hastened...for those who truly deserve it." Her pale green eyes bored into his as she spoke the words, and her so-called 'treasonous' talk that had gotten her thrown in the dungeons seemed harmless by comparison.

Merlin stumbled back a step. "Morgana...what you're talking about is-"

"What, treason? Simply speaking one's mind is treason with that tyrant on the throne!"

"-Murder."

###

Merlin lay awake that night, trying to convince himself that Morgana hadn't been serious. Uther locking her up was bound to make her angry, and anger made people say and do things they wouldn't with a clear head. _She didn't mean it. She can't have meant it. _

But her words kept repeating in his head: _Death can be hastened for those who truly deserve it... Simply speaking one's mind is treason with that tyrant on the throne... One by one, he makes enemies of us all..._

Then came images of Gwen: her desperation when her father had caught the plague and she'd come to Gaius for a cure he didn't have _(Please, Gaius, he's all I have!)_, Gwen sobbing as her father's body was removed from the castle after he was killed on Uther's orders _(I think he tried to escape because he knew that no matter what he said or did he'd be found guilty... Uther had already made up his mind... That's the kind of man he is...) _

And Merlin began to think maybe Morgana was right.

###

Arthur got Morgana released the next day, and kept Merlin too busy to speak with her all day. That night he crept up to her room - only to find it empty again. "Morgana?" _Where can she be?_ Some instinct pulled him to the window, through which he saw a hooded figure walking quickly, furtively away from the palace - a figure wearing Morgana's green cloak. He followed her without a second thought.

Never aware of his presence behind her, she went to the Dark Forest, where he watched as she was ambushed by Tauren's band of renegades. Merlin's magic tightened like a coiled spring inside him as he prepared to defend her if necessary, but she appeared to be getting the situation well in hand.

"If you kill me you'll regret it," she said coolly. How could she be so calm with the point of a sword pressed to her heart?

"And why is that?" Tauren's voice held a slightly mocking edge that clearly said he expected her to threaten him with being hunted relentlessly by the knights of Camelot if he harmed her.

Instead she said, "Because I want Uther dead too."

Merlin sagged against the tree that hid him, struggling not to gasp out loud. So Morgana hadn't just been venting in the heat of her anger; she really did want to kill the king. More than just wanting it, she was actually ready to _do_ something about it. _I should have taken what she said more seriously; I should-_ He stopped that thought there, not sure how to finish it. What _should_ he do?

Back in his room over Gaius's chambers, he turned the question over endlessly in his mind. There was a plot to assassinate the king underway, and everybody except him was completely unaware. The decision to stop it or let it go ahead rested on his shoulders alone...and he hardly knew what to do. Involving someone else was definitely out - he couldn't get Morgana in that kind of trouble. He thought of confronting her, but he couldn't begin to know what he would say. Uther had lost all the trust, affection, and respect she'd ever had for him; was there anything anyone could say that would dissuade her from trying to rid the kingdom of a man she saw as an unjust, oppressive ruler? Merlin rather doubted it.

Neither the Great Dragon nor Gaius was any help when he went to them for advice, either. The dragon urged him to do nothing, just let Uther die, and had absolutely nothing to say on the Morgana issue. Gaius was equally unhelpful (though that wasn't his fault since Merlin had to be a lot more oblique when discussing the situation with him, just asking if his mentor thought Uther was a good king and leaving Morgana out entirely). He did make some pretty strong arguments in Uther's favor, though - just nothing that could help Merlin make up his mind.

In the end it was Gwen who helped him decide.

_-If you had the power of life and death over Uther...would you kill him?_

_-No! That would make me as bad as him._

And he knew he had to stop Tauren - and yes, Morgana too, even if going against her earned her anger.

He ran off at full speed, leaving a bemused Gwen behind, and headed for Gorlois' grave.

###

Morgana watched Uther struggling with Tauren, and wondered how her plans had gone so horribly awry. It all seemed to be going along perfectly at first - she'd gotten Uther alone without him suspecting a thing - but then he'd apologized to her. More than that, he'd actually said having Tom killed had been a mistake. Uther Pendragon had admitted to being wrong.

Now she didn't think she wanted him dead anymore.

But her changed desires didn't alter the fact that Tauren had arrived, just as they'd planned, and seemed to be gaining the upper hand; he had the element of surprise and was several years younger than the king. She drew her dagger and went to Uther's aid just before Tauren finished him, stabbing the renegade sorcerer in the back both literally and figuratively.

He rolled off of the king and stared up at her, eyes filled with shock and anger even as the life behind them dimmed. "You...betrayed me,...Lady..." With his last breath he uttered something in a language she couldn't understand, pointing a shaking hand at her.

Morgana's windpipe constricted as if a noose of steel were tightening round her neck; she gasped but could take in no air, clawed desperately at her throat but was powerless to break the inexorable metaphysical chokehold that was slowly but surely depriving her of oxygen. Red dots swam across her vision and she thought she heard a voice, echoing weirdly inside her head, calling her name...

Then Tauren's curse lifted, and the world came rushing back. She found herself in Merlin's arms, her eyes locked on his as they faded from gold to blue. "Merlin...?"

He gave her one of those smiles he always seemed to wear, though it was a little shaky. "I couldn't let him hurt you."

Morgana nodded breathlessly; of course Merlin wouldn't let anything hurt her.

Uther, however, didn't see it that way; he only saw his ward choking to death as that boy - who, he realized with a thrill of horror, was the same one he'd appointed his son's manservant - performed some sort of magic over her. To think there'd been a sorcerer living in his palace all this time...! He snatched up his sword and seized the boy by the back of his scarf, hauling him away from Morgana. The point of his sword was perfectly aligned with the boy's heart, ready to pierce it, but before Uther could deliver the killing blow a different blade was plunged into him.

Morgana didn't give it so much as a full second's thought before springing into action; she didn't need to. Uther had promised her he would try to be more reasonable and create less conflict between them, yet mere minutes later there he went again, preparing to execute _her_ Merlin, the one who'd always been there for her when she felt she had no one to turn to, who'd been the best friend and confidante she could wish for besides Gwen, who had just _saved her life_, for crying out loud! Right then, in less time than it took her to blink, she realized that Uther would never change, that she could never live with him. It wasn't herself she was thinking of as she picked up her dropped dagger though - it was Merlin. After what he'd done for her, she couldn't let him down the one time that _he_ needed _her_. She drove her dagger deep into her erstwhile guardian's back.

Uther reeled backward, swayed on his feet for a long moment that seemed to hold an eternity, then finally dropped and moved no more. Suddenly it was no longer him, the bloodstains just a shade darker than his cloak's red fabric spreading out from where her dagger protruded before Morgana's eyes, but Merlin, jaw hanging open, his own eyes very wide. It was definitely fear she saw in those eyes - for her or _of_ her, she hardly knew which. "I had to do it," she said; her voice held no tremor, just a fearful numb kind of calmness. "I couldn't let him hurt you."

With a huge effort, Merlin pulled himself together even as everything seemed to be crumbling to pieces. He'd come here to save Uther, but instead he'd saved Morgana and inadvertently ended up causing the very thing he'd come to prevent. Still, he couldn't blame Morgana - she had changed her mind at the last minute and tried to do the right thing; it wasn't her fault Tauren had cursed her, forcing Merlin to expose his magic in front of Uther to save her. Then there was the part where _she'd_ saved _his_ life - he was in no great hurry to die, so he definitely didn't fault her for doing that. "Come on, Morgana, we should go."

"Go?" She dragged her gaze up from Uther's body and looked uncomprehendingly at the warlock.

"We should return to the castle...inform people of what's happened."

A shadow of fear flickered across her pale features. "What will we tell them?"

Merlin ran a hand through his hair, thinking hard and fast. "We'll tell them...that you and Uther were ambushed by bandits," he said slowly. "That way, no one need ever know you were involved - or that sorcerers were." The last thing they needed was for Arthur to develop the same grudge against magic-users that Uther had had.

Her face broke into a relieved smile. "Thank you, Merlin." Then she said haltingly, "You know...I didn't want him to die...in the end. I wouldn't have... If he hadn't..."

"I know. You have to be strong now, Morgana; when Arthur learns his father is dead, he's going to need you more than ever."

She roughly rubbed her eyes, which were filling with tears although as recently as that very morning, no, less than an hour ago she would never have believed she would cry over Uther's death. Then again, neither had she counted on actually being the one to kill him - not just arrange his death, but deal the fatal stroke herself - nor had she anticipated Merlin saving her life, Uther trying to give Merlin an impromptu execution, her rescuing Merlin...

She saw clearly now that _he_ had been the catalyst behind today's momentous events, and this was only the beginning. He had an even bigger role to play in things to come, as did she. "Both of us - he'll need both of us."

Her words sent a thrill through the warlock; he wanted so badly to help Arthur become the great king he was destined to be, and he would, if one believed Morgana. Merlin did - she saw the future, after all. "We should return to him, then."

Morgana took the hand Merlin held out to her, and they walked away together, leaving Uther Pendragon behind.

_**Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found**_

**Well...was it decent? Not so much? An outrage against the literary arts? Was it possibly good? Now for the big question: should I ever write more M/M stories, or do I suck at them?**


End file.
